Pehchan Kaun? (The Fight for IT’s Identity)

Hatasia Harry spoke about Electronics and Telecom Branch. I Touter Tom am going to elaborate on a branch that is revered by one and all as their arch enemies. Any guesses? Yeah you all are right, Branch IT !  [:P]. Short and sweet, ‘IT’ unlike ’ETC’ which is a jargon to many! [;)]…I will explain the evolution of the IT guys of our batch through the three and a half years. In the first year when all branches were jumbled together, no one knew about the existence of a branch named IT (Maybe, even IT guys themselves…Lolz). Nothing changed in the 2^nd year as well. They always stayed in the shadow of CSE branch. So, their immediate seniors thought off revolutionizing. Then began …

“RENAISSANCE OF BRANCH IT”!

It started with their own society getting formed (Grapevine has it that all this was done under pretensions of looting money!). Finally IT gained freedom. This first phase of their independence movement was undertaken by their seniors under the able leadership of “MR.ICICI Prudential”. All this went in vain coz he didn’t find an able successor. I mean Mr. Moon Moon could match him in terms of backlogs only (In fact OUTRUN him!) Come on Guys , who is interested in poems stolen from Nursery Rhymes books, stories uprooted (or inspired, as they call it) from CHAMPAK and Panchatantra kinda books!  One message for them. Get it clear …

”GROW UP GUYS”!

All the days of Agyaat vaas came to an end. That was the day IT made it to the headlines for the first time…This day marked the advent of an unparalleled rivalry in the history of CVRCE. Even bigger than that of VINCE MCMAHON and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. I am refraining from discussing this further otherwise ”Mr.Bewda Kumar” and ”Unsatisfied Mishra” would hurl expletives at me. Who knows, ”Lambu Sas-Watt” and “Qurbaani Lenka” unite under the label of “BROTHERS IN ARMS” and threaten to boycott the blog too.(Just like they did in the mush talked about freshers’ party). But again, their limelight was stolen by kirdaars like “Disco Kid”,”Cute Bong ”,”Sandalwood Praharaj” and The Safed Wardi Wale Gunde ! One thing that amazes me is that, where was their all time leader, Mr. Moon Moon at the time of crisis. Oh sorry I forgot, he was busy glorifying all the laurels they have got! Friends, we all know how truthful and honest he is. It would take only a fool to believe him! The only thing that changed after that day was, they lost their only source of O grades i.e. in sessional marks! I mean what else you can expect after you pound “Mr. Chamchu” who is allegedly having an affair with “Miss Sharmili Poooooooooh……..ar”?! Friends, one thing to be noted is that all epic fights were fought by some way or the other due to a Girl. here too this “Lanka Dahan ” was due to “Miss Small-Song Singh”. Another advice for you IT guys…

“GET HER A BRANCH CHANGE”!

She would easily get herself accommodated in some or the other branch. I mean, I wouldn’t mind to get her seated beside me. Only problem would be CONCENTRATION! Nowadays, they have all turned photographers in unison. A means to get themselves self employed. Finally IT guys get placed in places other than Insurance Companies! All of them are seen clicking snaps at infinitesimally small frame rates and uploading them on Orkut. Leaders in this field are “Crime master GOGOI” from China Border and “Loser Saha” who has more photos in his album than scraps! I Repeat, Get it clear …

 ”GROW UP GUYS”!

One thing that we need to attribute to these guys for is the wonderful spoof they got us during one of their numerous photo shoots. A real life example of “MERE BAAP PEHLE AAP”!  Another noteworthy thing about them is that how crazy they are to pose before the camera. Look closely at the following snap . Here poor ”Abhi Rajsena”  was asked to vacate his seat as “Kudi Punjaban” wanted to sit aside “Madan Lal”.  Must say “LUCKY GUY”! The most confused of the lot was “Crime master Gogoi from China Border”, (“paas baithu yaa dur baithu?”) One person who was sure in this field was “Mr. Graphical Manas”,  sitting a mile away from “Miss Book-House Patnaik”. One more message for the IT Guys…

“AIDS CHOONE SE NAHI FAILTA”!

Miss Small-Song Singh plays god in this branch, coz she is omniscient here and there in every other snap. I heard that before the camera is out she is ready with one of her unique poses. “Miss Wannabe-Hawtie Mishra” trying the “SANGAT KA ASAR ” funda staying close to “Ms Small-Song Singh”. Another advice for Mr. Batish Pattnaik. Stay away from close ups. It exposes your true colors (that of a semi guy!). Once again I would like to reiterate…..

”GROW UP GUYS”!

 

Signing Off,

Touter Tom

(Senior Khabri)

The Tribes of CVRCE

The SEXONS (sections) of CVRCE…

Hi all the dumbasses. This is my debut post and feel like peeing in front of The White House while writing this blog because both are a matter of great Pride ! So being the Senior Guptachar let me first give you an inside analysis of all the sexons sections of our batch. We will go alphabetically or else AEI people will again say that we have been neglected.

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  AEI (The Rumor-mongers or Pawanaas) - If you are a victim of useless rum ours in CVRCE then you must curse this tribe. They are lead by D.'I never fart’ Rao and Miss ‘Dance India Dance’ Ranjeeta. These people are one of the most civilized tribe of CVRCE ; After all they went for a strike because of No Lab ! Get a life man ! Who complains about it except these "We are so geek" people? This class has a considerable number of people who come to college in the morning and end up standing in the queue for movie tickets. They change their CR in every now and then; Much faster than the change of Pakistani captains !
  
  
• 
  
  Chemical (The Unknowns) - We don't know much about these people. How they look? Or where they stay? Etc.No one is interested in them as they don't have hot girls unlike other sections. The story of evolution of this tribe is when Raj Thackeray attacked north Indian students in Mumbai they flew to their land but in the midway appeared KRK and rescued them with his Deshdrohi act and sent them here to CVRCE. I think these Chemies have invented some invisible mask and they wear it every time. I just know one guy from Chemical named Kishaan (added an extra ‘K’ because of his involvement with "Gay", I mean "K" section people). But the tragedy is that he never admits that he belongs to chemical.
  
  
• 
  
  Computer Science-1 (The valley of Frustus) - When you see these people they look so frustrated because they did not score enough to get ETC and some of them are still in coma. They have some legendary Casanovas (duh!) like Altaf Raja Bankiya and 40 years old Virgin Sahoo. Then there is also a Band which is more interested in growing mafia size rather than making music or increasing their fan base. They have so much frustus in CS1 that even a guy gives treat after getting a testimonial from Brazil. Some run a group called GMS to increase there network business following. And a guy named Binay Kumar Jhadoo does piercing after getting dumped by a Mechi-Toki.
  
  
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  Computer Science-2 (The Angels & Demons) - This class is full of Angels ( I mean witches ) led by CS2 Sherni and the best part is that they have a plenty of them too. Even one is imported from China itself and one even is half-mental. The class is divided into two groups the ruling party called as 'We want a mass bunk' and there is the minority opposition party named 'We should have been informed about mass bunk earlier'. These people have not attended a single lab in 7th semester, The real demons for teachers. The strangest thing about this class is the rate in which people faint here lead by Bangali Behosh, the CR followed by Chutki Mahapatra, China Bomb and Tomboy Satpathy. I must tell you about the Don of CS, the ever charming and furious Maka who lights a cigarette from its filter.
  
  
• 
  
  Electrical (The Inglorious Infighters) - These people can easily give BJP a run for there money as far as infighting is concerned. And the worst thing is that they even have infighting for being the topper. WTF ?! This section consists of bunch of Bihari chachas and Odiya saahi lafangas. They are so charged of that even a mediocre goonda like Nanda Prusty is starting to rain blows on people thrice his size. Most of the people including chicks here are niggers and they can easily scare the hell out of Lara or Obama. They have the most famous the queen of english Miss ‘Shut Yr 'A' Up’ Tripathy and Mr. Dhoti Shaker Padhy, our very own dual meaning poet. I must not criticize much else Knee30 will send PCR to my home also !
  
  

To be continued...............

Ladkibaaz Larry

(Guptchar-in-Chief)

The Bunk-Masters of CVRCE !

Anyone read ‘Secret Seven’? ‘Famous Five’? ‘Fantastic Four’? No…? No one? Damn, I knew it! none of you ‘Geeks’ ever read anything other than academics. And non of you ‘Non-Geeks’ read anything at all! Well I’m dedicating this post to the people whom I’ll fondly (read ‘Devilishly’!) call as the ‘Bunk-masters’. Yeah that’s a pretty lame nomenclature. But did I wish their names to be cool or something! Ok..As I promised in one of my earlier posts that I wont be revealing the real names of my victims to protect their identities (duh!). But I will be using a series of more than obvious Code Names which even a kid can crack (Geez! Doesn't that smell of superhero kinda stuff?! Codenames and all !)

• So,coming back to the topic. There are many ‘Bunk-Master’ Gangs in our college like the ‘Monginis Monsters’ from the Mechanical Branch who spend the maximum possible time enjoying the free A/C at the Monginis eatery!
• Then there are the ‘Canteen Campers’ from the Computer Science Branch who are probably under the impression that the classes take place in the canteen. They get down from the bus, spend the whole day in the canteen, then go back home.
• Hey ! How can I forget the ‘AEI AutoSquad’ ! Yeah. The strange people from AEI branch always come to the college in the Bus and leave within 15 minutes by Autorickshaws ! Probably off to catch some stupid flick at S-Complex or even going window shopping at Forum Mart if the tickets aren’t available. It beats me that why the hell do they bother coming 20 kilometers to college if they have to leave within 10-15 minutes anyway? Hats off to you Autosquad!
• Same was the case with the ‘IT PhotoSquad’ a few months back. The only difference here is that these species can be seen sprawling all over the college lawns, trees, rocks, et al posing for group photographs. Till today these guys pollute Orkut and Facebook with numerous photo uploads. But strangely they are spotted toiling their asses off studying hard of late…It scares the shit outta me that they even did extra classes for the PPT!
• Hmm…Well there’s nothing much to say about the guys from the Electrical Branch. Though they are far behind the bunking standards set by the ‘Mechanical Monginis Monsters’ and the ‘CS Canteen Campers’ they still are catching up with the ‘AEI AutoSquad’ and ‘IT PhotoSquad’ in terms of Paagalpan under the able leadership of Mr. Dhoti-Shaker Padhy !
• There are a few more assorted groups like the ‘Canteen Commandoes’ which can give the ‘CS Canteen Campers’ a run for their money any day and the ‘Gay Section Guys’…Oops sorry…’The K Section Guys’ who can be spotted either in the Bike Stand or the So called Fast Food shop at the back gate. I’m going to elaborated about these groups some day later.

You must have noticed that I have missed out the names of any of the ‘Bunk-Master Gangs’ from the ETC and the Chemical branches. Well. Are you kidding? Have you ever seen anyone from ETC bunking the classes ?(Well…apart from the couple of ETC outcasts from the ‘Canteen Commandoes Gang’). These guys would stand near the door and take notes even if they are driven out from their classes by their psychotic lecturers ! And have you seen anyone from the Chemical Branch at all ?! Honestly guys it took me one year to notice that our college has a branch called chemical engineering. Well…That says the story!

Well I’m signing off with a toast to these ‘Bunk-Masters’ gangs who keep the noble art of bunking alive in our college. Cheerz!

Signing off…

Dahara Dick

(Senior Khabri)