Why CVRCE is Cooler than 3 Idiots’ ICE?

Behti hawa sa tha woh...udti patang sa tha woh...kahaan gaya use...

{White Noise}

Oh wait. Still listening to this song? And getting inspired by the life of Wangdu? Still want a life like him? Still comparing your friend circle with those 3 idiots? Then please wake up. Shame on you for making these dumbasses your role models. They are just overrated guys. An overrated system. Have you looked at your own friends at CVRCE? Come on let’s have a look and I bet you will find this 3 Idiots movie not as awesome in front of our CVRCE. So read on why the ICE college of 3 Idiots sucks and why our college CVRCE rocks…!

The Dumbass, Flawed and Pointless Final year projects of ICE Students

• ·         Joy's Four-Wing-Wala-Spy-Helicopter is a piece of trash. Let’s face it. A helicopter with 4 rotors is a ridiculous idea. Low manoeuvrability, High Cost, and ridiculous and it’s not innovative at all. Robbie Funda's Bot is better than Joy's Bot. I know that's useless too. But at least it had some cell-phone mumbo jumbo in it. It at least sounds cooler. And for God's sake! No fucking dude of CVRCE would even show a hint of tension if he/she is not being able to meet the project deadline let alone committing suicide. He simply will download/ buy a new one from Kukurmar Mallik! Joy is such a Loser. He would never even clear the first round of Roadies...

• ·         The Virus Inverter- Are you kidding me? You call that a project? Seriously? Stealing a lot of Car Batteries and connecting them in series to create power source? And that too For a Laptop?! This is insane. All Electrical Engineers who saw the Baby Delivery scene almost committed suicide. Even the worst project of Electrical Branch i.e. Dhoti Shaker Padhee's Ulta-Ghoomne-Wala-Fan made more sense. So did All-Esha Mohanty’s Cow Counting sensor. (More on all the weird projects by CVRCE guys later on.) 

The Ragging Ideas sucks big time in ICE

1. ·         First thing first. What is this obsession of Raj Kumar Hirani with Underwear? In Munnabhai MBBS, he showed us the juniors (and later the seniors too) dancing in their underwear to a Devdas song. And in 3 Idiots he continued the underwear obsession with the ragging scene.

2. ·         Learn some innovative ragging ideas from us CVRCE peeps! Shaktiman performances with sound effects, The CV Raman Salute, The Positions, The Main Super Man Hoon, The Stage acts, The QA Rounds to name a few. Our ragging system is much more interesting than theirs.

3. ·         Okay. Whatever our ragging system might be we never give our seniors an electric shock up their wee wee when they pee pee (which they don’t) in the doors of our hostel rooms!

4. ·         Guys! Learn to give some respect to your seniors. And please don’t electrocute them when they are relieving themselves. Even if it is on your door. (Which by the way isn't possible due to some inconsistency in some geeky electrical theory. Whatever)

No Hot Kudiyaans in ICE

• ·        Forget 'Hot'. There are no girls in '3 Idiots' altogether. How on Earth one is supposed to read in a college that has almost no girls in it? I guess there was no IT or AEI branch in that college. Guys do feel lucky that CVRCE at least has four buses full of Girls! *Amen* I would prefer CVRCE over ICE any day. Maybe ICE didn’t have an IT or AEI branch.

On teacher's day CVRCE junta do naach-gaana & manoranjan of teachers not baltkar like in ICE. We also have cooler guests like local hot RJ's rather than some tharki minister.

We have cooler toppers than ICE

• ·         Our 2nd positioned toppers don’t act like morons, drink vodka and take loser oaths to get back on the topper.

• ·         Our toppers don’t pee on the mailbox of the principal with their friends and wake up drunk in the class next day.

• ·         Our toppers don’t try to woo the Princy's Chick. Correction./ All our toppers are chicks.

• ·         Our Toppers don’t take bath in the public lawn like Wangdu. We use the Bathrooms.

We have a better Cheating/Copying system than the ICE guys

• ·         This is one department where ICE fails miserably against CVRCE. Can't they think straight? What is the need to take so much risk to leak the exam papers when we have so many easier and more effective ways defined by The Mechanical and The Chemical people? Dancer Khan from Mech. is well known around the circles by taking micro Xerox of entire books to the exam hall. Kukurmar Mallik from IT does Double micro Xerox. In fact he has the mind-blowing ability to write an entire module in a 2 inch piece of paper. Grapevine has it that La Louvre art museum of Paris is after those unique chits. And during back paper exams 50-60 students as for backup for 10-20 students giving exams. 

• ·         And our college has special partnership with the Techno School for leaking Back Paper Exams. We don’t break into the principal's room to get the exam papers. That's plain stupid.

• ·         During internals we apply even simpler but effective methods like additional shit exchange, basic bench scribbles, and wall graffiti or even sometime we directly write the answers in the blackboard. Pretty Straightforward. No fuss.

We don’t have cool enough principals ever but at least he comes in his own car (sometimes in the college ambulance too!) and roams around in the campus in the golf cart unlike the ICE principal who uses a stone aged bicycle.

Wangdu and his friends used to drink cheap desi rum and vodka. CVRCE guys drink better quality booze at West End, TDS, Dezire, Liquid,etc. We have Standard!

The 'Tofa Kabul Karo'  Parampara

• ·         Raj Kumar Hirani's Obsession with underwear is back again. Let’s face it. Stripping your pants and showing your ugly butt/ dirty underwear in the middle of the corridor to your friend ain't cool. It’s plain disgusting. Especially when your friend is with his girlfriend. I think it would have been a better idea if the Tofa Kabul Karo act was done by Kareena.

No Hot Lady teachers in ICE- We at least had MyNameLisa and Angie Jolie with us! Those made us attend quite a few classes.

Everyone knows that nose never comes between while kissing. At least everyone in CVRCE knows that.

CVRCE guys don’t let their friends disappear in front of their eyes in the day of convocation.

Finally! CVRCE has the CVRCE Diary Blog!

Finally a message for you guys. Please please please stop sending SMS related to 3 idiots. They were PJs from the start. When inspiration is in your home then why you searching for it in these 3 geeks? "AAL IZZ WELL" never heals. It’s just another crappy line like "SO JAA BETA WARNA GABBAR AA JAAYEGA" and dumbs used to get convinced by that. Please never try to give your interview in Raju style else you will end up getting beaten by the interviewer (That explains why Hatasia Harry is still Jobless). Don’t update your social site tags as "IM THE 4TH IDIOT". Come on. Ain’t being CVRCEian is enough. Be proud to be CVRCEian. Be proud of your friends. Be proud of your days back in college. You spent a way cooler life in CVRCE than Wangdu ever did at ICE. You are way cooler than Wangdu and his minions.  Raise a toast to yourself tonight. Amen!

Confessions of a Couch Potato

by Ladkibaaz Larry

 

2010 has been an awful year. India lost the Twenty20 World Cup again, Sania Mirza got married, Ravindra Jadeja’s still in the team,  Films like Raavan were allowed to release, Kevin Clien Patra became the principal  & to top them all we were kicked out of college. Even they took our I-cards which were damn important for booking advance tickets at S-Complex. Ever since our departures our routine has changed and we have become hopelessly unoccupied. Imagine what Tiger Woods & Wayne Rooney would do when they are done cheating their wives, What Pakistani cricketers would do when they are done with fixing matches, What would Mr Law-Go do when he is done with doing politics in CVRCE? I don’t know what these people do when they are bored but we are just getting restless & just missing & mourning the good old days. Nowadays I just shit longer &  pee longer too kill time.

 

Remember last October there was a buzz about a movie called ‘Wake Up Sid’? A year later our lives has turned into Sid's; Except without a Honda CRV & an ‘Almost Hot’ Chick's flat to share with. Every morning at 11am I wake up only so that i can swallow something & then snore some more. I realize I have to ride my old bike just to stop it from getting rust to dust. Sid too has lots of friends to hang out with but some of my friends just vanished. Every time they call they promise they are coming to my Town but the assholes never show up. I never imagined that those useless people will be so damn missed! But why did all this happen & how did it happen?  It’s all due to college. Our own college where the day begins with warm greetings with friends some greetings either prefixed or suffixed with creative multilingual slangs. Then the day progresses at the canteen, In the Lawns, At the College Back-gate or at Monginis and ended at the Auto Stand or S-Complex. It’s been such a long summer vacation that my parents are also starting to ask, “Have you really cracked any campus or it was just fake?” I don’t know about all those lucky people who are rubbing their ass at the office cushions now, but i bet it is not as good as rubbing our asses against those wooden benches of CVRCE. My mom also misses college she complains that I am turning into a gorilla sitting at home. At least at college I was burning some calories running from bus stop to canteen, from canteen to library, from library to auto stand. And I at least cared to shave regularly not to repel the chicks in college. One of the weirdest things about missing college is not being able to see those pretty ladies in real. I am tired of visiting there albums in FB. Even now when friends call we just share the same lines, "Ki Bore Bey!", "Pooch mat. Main to yahan pak gaya hun!”. Even I am finding it difficult to find partners for evening smokes. We all are fried of watching reruns of those comedy shows & highlights of old matches. Our life has become the same as of Preity Zinta or Yuvraj Singh. No films, no matches, no ads & no fun. For them IPL was her salvation & for us it was the college. Now people are so bored that they have made a mediocre movie like DABANGG a blockbuster by watching it daily. Initially some people got so bored that they started to bore others in Orkut through there updates. Thanks to them Orkut died and CVRCE Diary had to make a pain-in-the-ass transition to Facebook.

 

How much we cursed our college earlier or how much we used to hate our teachers but I never thought a day like this would even come when I will be dying to go & sit in a class but they won’t allow me. I miss all those smiling faces which use to make my days, I miss those inside bus chats where we used to plan which classes to bunk, I badly miss those internals where we have our mass cheatings, I miss the lazy afternoons at the canteen where began all the bitching & teasing. All these stuffs seem so ordinary a year back but now it feels so precious & it makes me feel a little older. The kid inside is starting to die & i don’t know what to do. Feeling so alone & helpless without that green shirt of mine. If God will grant me a wish then I wish for a full day in college which I cherish inside my heart. I don’t now where would our fates take us but my friends we had left our souls at the corridors & lawns of CVRCE. If i am not being able to arouse all your feeling towards that green shirt & the name CVRCE then pardon me mates I am no Shakespeare.

Missing you all…

Larry

Guptchar-in-Chief

CVRCE Diary

One Night @ the LH…

Disclaimer : The following post was written down by Secret Agent Sally months ago, but we couldn’t post it fearing the wrath of the LH army! But now as the LH is dissolved and we are posting it without any fear of our ass getting kicked!

I have been entrusted with the difficult job of posting the inside story of apna LH. But before I start off I would like to make myself heard…

“This is the weirdest place on Earth!”

We have many ‘interesting’ personalities in the LH. For instance we have Miss Soft Cutter who implements a weird but surprisingly effective strategy to prepare for the Semesters undisturbed. Her varied colored face packs (Lippa Poti) keep her from talking to anyone, resulting in more time to study and score High CGPA. (Note to beauty tips ignorant Guys: You cannot talk when you have Lippa Poti On!). And we have Miss Small-Song Singh, Miss Inspiration Pallavi and Miss B-Jeta Nayak exchanging outfits so often that they themselves forget that which one originally belonged to whom! And yeah, we sure have Miss ChinaMaal who sleeps with the Fan off and Lights on irrespective of the time of the day or the season of the year. Once her majesty also tried to curl her eyelashes and ended up having none at all…

All said and done the weirdest of them all is Her Majesty Miss Marine ‘FlowerGurl’! Her Majesty is a personality who was a source of entertainment for one and all. She has had midnight escape attempts, fake boyfriends, numerous fits of public song and dance performances, etc. I’m going to narrate an incident that happened in the first year. Something Funny and Scary …

Once afternoon in a certain room of the top floor, in walks a figure with dark unkempt hair, white but dirty teeth, and a sort of devilish grin. Some were asleep while some were sitting around doing nothing. She took note of no one and nothing but silently glided into the room with the attached balcony. She sat down on a bet and waited, staring at an innocent victim while she slept, wandering in her dreams. She watched her, staring into her face, compelling her to wake up. And when she did wake up, our li’l  figure turned into performer and puts a show on a Katrina song  (Zara Zara Touch Me) earlier performed by Miss Inspiration Pallavi in a certain branch function. Then the unexpected happened, Miss HBK made the biggest mistake ever.  She said something silly 2 Flowergurl which offended her!! Flowergurl glared at her, seething with emotions that no one could. Then with a straight face she spat at HBK “Zayda bako mat,zyada bakki toh tumhe balcony se neeche phek denge”. Silence prevails in the room. And then then suddenly the lights went out. Utter Choas occurred. HBK ran out of the room. The rest of the roomies huddled in the only other room that could house 10 people and locked it from inside. Everyone from HBK’s room ran to take shelter there. Miss Marine Flowergurl kept on calling and banging on the door. Nobody opened for the fear of the unknown or maybe even the fear of being thrown down the balcony. Suddenly the floor below frantically ran towards the terrace; gasping for breath. They explained that Miss Marine Flowergurl had been to their door as well, banged and banged on their doors, put her torch to their keyhole and uttered things that nobody understood. Finally the lights came on but none of the girls had the guts to return back to their rooms fearing they might chance upon Miss Marine Flowergurl on their way back to safer shores.

It was discovered later that Miss Mariner Flowergurl had made a few more futile attempts before retiring to her abode and slept off while all others let out a sigh of relief. Especially Miss HBK, who had a lucky escape from being thrown down from the balcony of the top floor. Numerous such incidents kept on happening throughout the reign of terror of Mariner Flowergurl in the LH. Maybe HBK still has nightmares about that fateful night.

Signing Off…

Secret Agent Sally

LH Khabri

SAVE CELEGANCE 2010

This post is going to be unlike any of the previous posts you have read in CVRCE Diary. For the past one week or so we are being bombarded with requests for writing a post on the fiasco over the College Annual Function. We guess everyone knows what happened and we won’t go into proclaiming who was right and who was wrong. Instead we would like to bring into light what might be the aftermath of these unfortunate incidents and how it threatens to rob all the fun and frolic out of our final days in CVRCE. This is a wake up to all those people out there who have their heard and soul within the walls of CVRCE, this is a call to all the people out there who spent some of the best years of their life here at CVRCE, this is a call to all those people out there who found some amazing friends here at CVRCE in these four years. Stand up and make a difference. Help us salvage the pride of the Final Year students. Let’s join hands to make CELEGANCE 2010 possible.

In the past week or so we have been to the Tech-Fests and Annual Functions of various colleges like ITER, GITA, CEB, CET, etc. And it makes us turn green with envy. We feel that it could have been us in those black volunteer T-Shirts having a blast with everyone. We feel that it could have been us near that robotics arena trying to figure out what went wrong with that automated gate. We feel that it could have been us in those gaming labs filling up I-Cards of eager participants. We feel that it could have been us auditioning crap singers and dancers for the final rounds. We feel that it could have been us taking a stroll in the twilight with ciggies in out mouths when some shit band was playing. We feel that it could have been us anchoring up on the stage with fake English accents! We feel that it could have been us walking down the ramp putting on cheap apparel from Big-Bazaar! We feel that it could have been us inviting our friends from other colleges over for our ‘Star Night’. It could have been us flooding the annual function photos in our orkut accounts. Finally It could have been us having making the most of our final days in our college…

How did we forget that we are the only batch ever who was mixed up in the first year irrespective of our branches? How did we forget that how we were scolding our seniors for being unable to organise an annual function when we were in 2^nd year? How did we forget that our entire batch joined hands with each other last year when injustice happened with IT Sena? How did we forget all the fun filled times we spent all these years? How can we afford to sabotage our pride in front of our juniors? Every single day some juniors ask us is our function is happening or not. Every single day our friends from other colleges mock sympathy on us for being unable to organise an annual function. It pains our hearts to see that a batch which was so united for the past four years had to have fallout when it matters the most. It’s time for us to step out and make a difference. We can make our annual function if any only if we join our hands together and mage CELEGANCE 2010 a reality. Join the campaign. Spread the hype. Spread the word. And we sure would see ourselves in those Black T-Shirts organising Celegance 2010 with our friends, dancing away during the DJ Nite, boasting off about our Star Night, screaming till our throats go sour and making saving the pride of our batch!

Story of Every Semester

Every New Semester	After One Week
After The First Internals	Before The Second Internals
After The Second Internals	During The Third Internals
During Lab Tests, Grand Viva, etc…	Once Semester Dates are Out…
7 Days Before the Exams...	6 Days Before the Exams...
5 Days Before the Exams...	4 Days Before the Exams...
3 Days Before the Exams...	2 Days Before the Exams...
1 Day Before the Exams...	The Final Night Before the Exams...
One Hour Before the Final Exam...	One Hour Before the Final Exam...
Outside the Exam Hall after the Exams are Over...	Once all the Exams are Over... Now That’s Life at CVRCE !

Semester Monster

There are good time. And there are bad times. But once in six months there comes a really really bad time which completely decimates the already muddled up minds of us Engineering students. Yeah you guessed it right. Its the ‘EggZam Time’ ! It comes once in every six months and spreads a wave of despair all around. Some symptoms to look around for when the semesters are round the corner…

• The in-season starts for the Xerox/Photocopy Shops. Loads and loads of students make a beeline in these shops to take photocopies of various notes, leaked question papers, so called ‘Sure-Shot’ questions and what-nots. Photo copying becomes the Engineering hobby during the exam time !
• Big crowds at old book stores/second hand book stores. They are preferred over the newer edition any day. Why? Coz the previous owner must have marked out and underlined the important points. But what the students are unaware that there are many devil minded guys like me who underline and mark out unnecessary points and portions of the book before selling it off with the sole reason to land the next owner in trouble ! Evil. Ain’t it?!
• Frequent mobile recharges. Its strange that how the need to communicate increases exponentially during the time of exams. Also the level of friendship takes a huge leap in the Y-axis during the exam times !
• Uncanny amount of status updates in Orkut, Facebook, Twitter, Etc.
• Big Rush at various messes in the name of ‘Group Study’. Two things I have learnt in my Engineering career. One. Exam papers dont leak. Two. There is no such thing as ‘Group Study’ !
• Mechanical, Electronics and Electrical students debating on whose subject s are the toughest. CS and IT students can’t even open their mouths in these debates ! AEI students watching Movie at S-Complex.
• The Annual BPUT strike to reschedule the exam dates
• The IPL season starts during the Exam Season. F**K You Lalit Modi.
• And last but not the least. Hyper-Tension all around. You can Practically feel it in the air !

Kalakaar Kerry
(Associate Khabri)

The Bunk-Masters of CVRCE !

Anyone read ‘Secret Seven’? ‘Famous Five’? ‘Fantastic Four’? No…? No one? Damn, I knew it! none of you ‘Geeks’ ever read anything other than academics. And non of you ‘Non-Geeks’ read anything at all! Well I’m dedicating this post to the people whom I’ll fondly (read ‘Devilishly’!) call as the ‘Bunk-masters’. Yeah that’s a pretty lame nomenclature. But did I wish their names to be cool or something! Ok..As I promised in one of my earlier posts that I wont be revealing the real names of my victims to protect their identities (duh!). But I will be using a series of more than obvious Code Names which even a kid can crack (Geez! Doesn't that smell of superhero kinda stuff?! Codenames and all !)

• So,coming back to the topic. There are many ‘Bunk-Master’ Gangs in our college like the ‘Monginis Monsters’ from the Mechanical Branch who spend the maximum possible time enjoying the free A/C at the Monginis eatery!
• Then there are the ‘Canteen Campers’ from the Computer Science Branch who are probably under the impression that the classes take place in the canteen. They get down from the bus, spend the whole day in the canteen, then go back home.
• Hey ! How can I forget the ‘AEI AutoSquad’ ! Yeah. The strange people from AEI branch always come to the college in the Bus and leave within 15 minutes by Autorickshaws ! Probably off to catch some stupid flick at S-Complex or even going window shopping at Forum Mart if the tickets aren’t available. It beats me that why the hell do they bother coming 20 kilometers to college if they have to leave within 10-15 minutes anyway? Hats off to you Autosquad!
• Same was the case with the ‘IT PhotoSquad’ a few months back. The only difference here is that these species can be seen sprawling all over the college lawns, trees, rocks, et al posing for group photographs. Till today these guys pollute Orkut and Facebook with numerous photo uploads. But strangely they are spotted toiling their asses off studying hard of late…It scares the shit outta me that they even did extra classes for the PPT!
• Hmm…Well there’s nothing much to say about the guys from the Electrical Branch. Though they are far behind the bunking standards set by the ‘Mechanical Monginis Monsters’ and the ‘CS Canteen Campers’ they still are catching up with the ‘AEI AutoSquad’ and ‘IT PhotoSquad’ in terms of Paagalpan under the able leadership of Mr. Dhoti-Shaker Padhy !
• There are a few more assorted groups like the ‘Canteen Commandoes’ which can give the ‘CS Canteen Campers’ a run for their money any day and the ‘Gay Section Guys’…Oops sorry…’The K Section Guys’ who can be spotted either in the Bike Stand or the So called Fast Food shop at the back gate. I’m going to elaborated about these groups some day later.

You must have noticed that I have missed out the names of any of the ‘Bunk-Master Gangs’ from the ETC and the Chemical branches. Well. Are you kidding? Have you ever seen anyone from ETC bunking the classes ?(Well…apart from the couple of ETC outcasts from the ‘Canteen Commandoes Gang’). These guys would stand near the door and take notes even if they are driven out from their classes by their psychotic lecturers ! And have you seen anyone from the Chemical Branch at all ?! Honestly guys it took me one year to notice that our college has a branch called chemical engineering. Well…That says the story!

Well I’m signing off with a toast to these ‘Bunk-Masters’ gangs who keep the noble art of bunking alive in our college. Cheerz!

Signing off…

Dahara Dick

(Senior Khabri)

The Diary Says Hi…!

Yippee…! Here comes the first ever post of ‘CVRCE Diary’ !

So..What is ‘CVRCE Diary’ all about? Well to be honest it is actually a rubbish idea that cropped up in three good for nothing Final year guys from the rotten excuse of an Engineering College that we better know as CV Raman College of Engineering. So, who are ‘we’?

We are just a couple of Normal engineering students, with Normal friends, leading a Normal life, with Normal aspirations. But there are a few things Abnormal within us. Our abnormal Amount of frustration with the system, Our Abnormal amount of distaste towards the men in the A/C chambers and finally our Abnormal amount of Love for the college life !

Don’t get us wrong in here. We are not here to change the world or bring a difference. We just want to vent our thoughts, our views on the everyday events that happen around here. This isn’t a journal, nor a magazine. You can say it’s an insight to the brains of a couple of guys stuck in CVRCE !

Some questions that may arise in due time…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Why are we not mentioning our true identities?

A. Simple. Because it is already obvious who we are! And we have this feeling that we will be landing in truckloads of controversies in due course of time! So for the time being know us as ‘Touter Tom’, 'Dahara Dick' and ‘Hatasia Harry’ !

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What are we gonna write about?
A. Well..A bit of this and a bit of that. Mostly we will be writing things about our college days with a tinge of humor and sarcasm. And also expect us to take digs on our batch mates!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Are we gonna open a lot of cans?

A. Well, yes…(At least sort of!). But keeping in mind not to land ourselves in any trouble we are going to use some very obvious nicknames of our victims in the posts! Its up to you to figure out who’s who!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why this blog?
A. Four years is a longs time guys. And it undoubtedly is the best time of our lives. Ain’t it? So we are writing down these stuff so that somewhere down the line in the years to come we can look back on this blog and relive the nostalgia of our CVRCE Days !
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Signing off…

Touter Tom, Dahara Dick and Hatasia Harry

(Senior Khabris, CVRCE Diary)