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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Confessions of a Couch Potato

by Ladkibaaz Larry


2010 has been an awful year. India lost the Twenty20 World Cup again, Sania Mirza got married, Ravindra Jadeja’s still in the team,  Films like Raavan were allowed to release, Kevin Clien Patra became the principal  & to top them all we were kicked out of college. Even they took our I-cards which were damn important for booking advance tickets at S-Complex. Ever since our departures our routine has changed and we have become hopelessly unoccupied. Imagine what Tiger Woods & Wayne Rooney would do when they are done cheating their wives, What Pakistani cricketers would do when they are done with fixing matches, What would Mr Law-Go do when he is done with doing politics in CVRCE? I don’t know what these people do when they are bored but we are just getting restless & just missing & mourning the good old days. Nowadays I just shit longer &  pee longer too kill time.


Remember last October there was a buzz about a movie called ‘Wake Up Sid’? A year later our lives has turned into Sid's; Except without a Honda CRV & an ‘Almost Hot’ Chick's flat to share with. Every morning at 11am I wake up only so that i can swallow something & then snore some more. I realize I have to ride my old bike just to stop it from getting rust to dust. Sid too has lots of friends to hang out with but some of my friends just vanished. Every time they call they promise they are coming to my Town but the assholes never show up. I never imagined that those useless people will be so damn missed! But why did all this happen & how did it happen?  It’s all due to college. Our own college where the day begins with warm greetings with friends some greetings either prefixed or suffixed with creative multilingual slangs. Then the day progresses at the canteen, In the Lawns, At the College Back-gate or at Monginis and ended at the Auto Stand or S-Complex. It’s been such a long summer vacation that my parents are also starting to ask, “Have you really cracked any campus or it was just fake?” I don’t know about all those lucky people who are rubbing their ass at the office cushions now, but i bet it is not as good as rubbing our asses against those wooden benches of CVRCE. My mom also misses college she complains that I am turning into a gorilla sitting at home. At least at college I was burning some calories running from bus stop to canteen, from canteen to library, from library to auto stand. And I at least cared to shave regularly not to repel the chicks in college. One of the weirdest things about missing college is not being able to see those pretty ladies in real. I am tired of visiting there albums in FB. Even now when friends call we just share the same lines, "Ki Bore Bey!", "Pooch mat. Main to yahan pak gaya hun!”. Even I am finding it difficult to find partners for evening smokes. We all are fried of watching reruns of those comedy shows & highlights of old matches. Our life has become the same as of Preity Zinta or Yuvraj Singh. No films, no matches, no ads & no fun. For them IPL was her salvation & for us it was the college. Now people are so bored that they have made a mediocre movie like DABANGG a blockbuster by watching it daily. Initially some people got so bored that they started to bore others in Orkut through there updates. Thanks to them Orkut died and CVRCE Diary had to make a pain-in-the-ass transition to Facebook.bored_by_Mortor


How much we cursed our college earlier or how much we used to hate our teachers but I never thought a day like this would even come when I will be dying to go & sit in a class but they won’t allow me. I miss all those smiling faces which use to make my days, I miss those inside bus chats where we used to plan which classes to bunk, I badly miss those internals where we have our mass cheatings, I miss the lazy afternoons at the canteen where began all the bitching & teasing. All these stuffs seem so ordinary a year back but now it feels so precious & it makes me feel a little older. The kid inside is starting to die & i don’t know what to do. Feeling so alone & helpless without that green shirt of mine. If God will grant me a wish then I wish for a full day in college which I cherish inside my heart. I don’t now where would our fates take us but my friends we had left our souls at the corridors & lawns of CVRCE. If i am not being able to arouse all your feeling towards that green shirt & the name CVRCE then pardon me mates I am no Shakespeare.

Missing you all…