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Thursday, December 10, 2009

21 Ways to Screw Yourself in Semesters

You have not at all studied for the paper, all the days you got before exam went at the Xerox shop.27aug08_funny-exam-answer2 Your friend did not mail you the leaked questions. When you opened the book 4 the first time you found that the pages are torn by the fellow from whom you bought. Or…You have passed all your exams till 6th semester but you are not satisfied. So the diary will solve your problem and assist you to experience something new. Engineering life is incomplete without a back. Are you tired of passing in exams? Are you tired of being a 6.1 All clear guy? Do you want to empathize with all those back loggers? So this season get ready to do the undone…We present you 21 innovative and fool proof ways to fail the semester exams or even get kicked out of the exam hall during the exam…

Statutory Warning- All these stunts are performed by experts. So don’t try them by yourself without knowing the consequences.

Declaration- We hereby declare that if anybody fails after doing this; please don’t ask us to do your back paper registration.


  1. If it is a problematic paper, answer in essay form. Write stories. If it is a theory paper, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol regularly. Create your own imaginary symbols if possible. Remember to use as much variables you can.
  2. Bring Cheerleaders. Instruct them to dance every time you successfully answer a question or successfully copy it from your front guy.
  3. Walk in the exam. Stop. Give the invigilator a surprised look. And shout, “Who are you? Where’s the guy who took 500 bucks to help me out? Call him else I will call Disco Kid (to give one of his Legendary Punches!)”.
  4. Write "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs." on reply to every question whose answer you don’t have the faintest idea of.
  5. Write the exam with glitter gel pens, crayons, poster colors and fluorescent markers. If possible draw a cow on the front page and write "Click to Collect Chocolate Milk" below it. It might work if the examiner is a Farmville Addict.
  6. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. Give Innocent looks. For best results practice it in front of the mirror before doing it in action.
  7. As soon as the instructor hands you the answer paper, eat it. If possible ask for some ketchup. If he gives a surprised look, tell him to from Monginis.
  8. Bring a black marker. Return the question paper and answer sheet with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
  9. Arrange a strike before the exam coz you can’t appear today as you have to go an watch “3 Idiots”.
  10. From the moment the exam begins sing the 'Blue Theme'. Ignore the invigilator’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to ‘Dhan Ta Nan’.
  11. Bring cheat and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”
  12. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
  13. Try to get the students in the room do the Mexican wave.
  14. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly devil idol. Put it right next to you. Pray it often. Chant imaginary mantras and sacrifice a cockroach. When the invigilator intervenes, tell him not to mess with your religious beliefs. And continue chanting in some inexplicable tongue.
  15. Do the 'Rocket Singh' dance on the top of your desk. And insist the others to do the 'Paa' dance step.
  16. Bring few beggar kids from CRP with you. And sing “Jai Ho” with them. And if the invigilator objects, accuse him of being insensitive to the poor.
  17. Bring a Cake with you and say Happy Birthday to the invigilator and start celebrating (Read Thrashing the Invigilator).
  18. Come running into the class and spread rumor that Microsoft has come to recruit & it’s on first come first serve basis.
  19. Get the entire class to sing the DoCoMo advertisement jingle.
  20. Point at any random girl and say "Hi Secret Agent Sally!”
  21. Stand up and shout "Yes it’s me who is writing the blog." The students will take care of the rest.