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Saturday, February 13, 2010

How to Scare/Piss Off Your Roomie [Mental Baba]

Disclaimer: This Mental Baba post is only meant for LH students only. If Boys’ mess students attempt to follow the following tips and tricks CVRCE Diary doesn’t guarantee the results.
Mental Baba Are you sick of your roomie? Do you want to change your roomie but can’t find a good enough reason for that? Is your roomie’s BF hotter than yours and you are sick of it? Does your roomie hog up the internet usage every month?  Does your roomie sped two hours in the bathroom every morning? Is your roomie placed and you are not and she is showing off? Is your roommate the primary reason why you think your engineering life sucks? Well don’t worry ladies. Mental Baba is here to adhere to all your sorrows! Mental Baba will tell how to piss off and punish your roomie. He will tell you ways to freak out and scare your roomie. He will give you fool proof ways to give that return punch and make life hell for your roommate for ever.
  1. In the middle of the night… let your hair down, wear something loose and white... Stand staring at your sleeping roomie constantly with your head tilted, eyes wide and an evil smile… Do this every night. Results guaranteed in one week. 

  2. Buy their exact wardrobe and wear the same clothes they do every day. Start commenting on how much you have in common, and how you must be twins separated at birth.
  3. Read books on occult, witchcraft, etc. ...Prepare a voodoo doll of your roomie...Once when she is half asleep try to get a piece of her cloth/hair.
  4. Constantly sharpen a big butcher's knife every day with a stone. Periodically look at your roommate and give her an evil smile...slowly mutter 'Soon. Soon !’
  5. Ask them daily about their cleaning habits. Always act like it isn't enough. Bring home disinfectants and clean everything they touch 5 seconds after they've touched it. Behave as though they are crawling with nasty germs and ask "You haven't touched this have you?" before you touch anything.
  6. Give her romantic gifts, roses, cards, etc...If that doesn’t scare her then PROPOSE HER.
  7. Hide a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
  8. Throw a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that she reimburse you.
  9. Watch movies like Cannibal Holocaust, Saw series, Hostel series etc. and laugh hysterically during Gore Scenes. And beech beech mein mutter to yourself (but loud enough for her to hear) "Hey...Dat was cool..I can try dat!".
  10. Keep a pet frog. One day smash it with your roomie's heaviest book. Then cry and cry and cry and blame your roomie for Froggie's murder. Swear that you will take the revenge Ghajini Style.
  11. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
  12. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.
  13. Buy a bottle of red ink. Smear it around your mouth and eat sandwich. When she sees you eating, quickly hide the sandwich. Let her think that u r eating some living creature.
  14. Use the bottle of red ink to smear your hands red. Every night come running to yr room and wash your hands frantically as if it was blood. When your roomie enquires about it just answer "I didn’t do it. It was just an accident."
  15. Bring a chessboard and play chess with your imaginary friend in front of your roomie and after the match shake hands with your friend {in air}... Works better if you shout expletives at your imaginary friend when you lose!
  16. Start listening to insane forms of music like classical Chinese music or African heavy metal at high volumes.
  17. Paste posters of Bal Thackeray, Rahul Mahajan, Rahi Sawant, Her Mom, KRK, etc posters in your room.
  18. Finally the killer punch. Set the photo of your roomie's Boyfriend as your lappy's wallpaper.