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Friday, February 26, 2010

SAVE CELEGANCE 2010

This post is going to be unlike any of the previous posts you have read in CVRCE Diary. For the past one week or so we are being bombarded with requests for writing a post on the fiasco over the College Annual Function. We guess everyone knows what happened and we won’t go into proclaiming who was right and who was wrong. Instead we would like to bring into light what might be the aftermath of these unfortunate incidents and how it threatens to rob all the fun and frolic out of our final days in CVRCE. This is a wake up to all those people out there who have their heard and soul within the walls of CVRCE, this is a call to all the people out there who spent some of the best years of their life here at CVRCE, this is a call to all those people out there who found some amazing friends here at CVRCE in these four years. Stand up and make a difference. Help us salvage the pride of the Final Year students. Let’s join hands to make CELEGANCE 2010 possible.Save Celegance 2010

In the past week or so we have been to the Tech-Fests and Annual Functions of various colleges like ITER, GITA, CEB, CET, etc. And it makes us turn green with envy. We feel that it could have been us in those black volunteer T-Shirts having a blast with everyone. We feel that it could have been us near that robotics arena trying to figure out what went wrong with that automated gate. We feel that it could have been us in those gaming labs filling up I-Cards of eager participants. We feel that it could have been us auditioning crap singers and dancers for the final rounds. We feel that it could have been us taking a stroll in the twilight with ciggies in out mouths when some shit band was playing. We feel that it could have been us anchoring up on the stage with fake English accents! We feel that it could have been us walking down the ramp putting on cheap apparel from Big-Bazaar! We feel that it could have been us inviting our friends from other colleges over for our ‘Star Night’. It could have been us flooding the annual function photos in our orkut accounts. Finally It could have been us having making the most of our final days in our college…

How did we forget that we are the only batch ever who was mixed up in the first year irrespective of our branches? How did we forget that how we were scolding our seniors for being unable to organise an annual function when we were in 2nd year? How did we forget that our entire batch joined hands with each other last year when injustice happened with IT Sena? How did we forget all the fun filled times we spent all these years? How can we afford to sabotage our pride in front of our juniors? Every single day some juniors ask us is our function is happening or not. Every single day our friends from other colleges mock sympathy on us for being unable to organise an annual function. It pains our hearts to see that a batch which was so united for the past four years had to have fallout when it matters the most. It’s time for us to step out and make a difference. We can make our annual function if any only if we join our hands together and mage CELEGANCE 2010 a reality. Join the campaign. Spread the hype. Spread the word. And we sure would see ourselves in those Black T-Shirts organising Celegance 2010 with our friends, dancing away during the DJ Nite, boasting off about our Star Night, screaming till our throats go sour and making saving the pride of our batch!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine’s Day Awards !

Disclaimer: The follow post isn’t meant to hurt anyone’s sentiments. If any couple or individual feels offended by the  nominations/awards please leave us a scrap/ comment/ email mentioning the context  which  is deemed derogatory by you.
Hello Peeps! Welcome to the V-Day Special of CVRCE Diary! Hold your breath for the first ever CVRCE Diary Awards at Kodak Theatre, L.A.! The 13 Khabris of the Diary voted for the hottest couples in CVRCE 2010 batch. We present you highlights of the fake ceremony! Cheers!valentine-750822
We faced a stiff opposition by IT Sena led by Rishab Thackeray and AviRAJ Sena just before the awards ceremony. They tore down posters of the awards ceremony and held violent protests against the CVRCE Diary! Finally they were pacified after an apology by some Senior Khabris for some previous statements by some Senior Khabris against the IT Sena in the blog.  Damn. There is no freedom of speech these days. We are being harassed by IT Sena. Peeps, please help us and IT Sena please try to understand. We mean no harm!
Anyway, the award ceremony was kicked off by the band ‘Terrible-Noyze’. After enduring a cacophony of 15 minutes the audience were again forced to endure another 15 minutes of eyesore by the Dance troupe led by Moolah Khan, Bangla Das and Co. Finally Harry and Sally hosted the award ceremony. The Following Awards were presented to the couples of CVRCE.
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Aman Ki Asha Award: This award is presented to the couples who promoted love between the two traditionally warring branches of CVRCE., CS and Mechanical The award was handed over by  Knee30 and DhotiShaker who are known to be the most peaceful people of CVRCE.The Nominees are
  • Bangali Behosh & Good-Girl Rakshit.
  • Band-Party Patnaik & Waiting Mishra
  • Binay Jhadoo & Petron Sahu
And the Winners are… Binay Jhadoo & Petron Sahu ! They proved that CS-Mechanical love is stronger than anything else in CVRCE. Even stronger than Mech-Mech love! (Pun Not Intended!).
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Fevicol Ki Jod Award: This award is presented to the most 400_F_11213270_JHPVVtz4DsvB8UwQwYi4NW7PzQmPNtKW inseparable couple of CVRCE. They can be seen together all every possible time in the campus of CVRCE. This award was presented by Sandalwood Praharaj and Robotics Sahoo of ETC who are one of the most Chipkoo guys in CVRCE. The Nominees are…
  • B-Noy Coo-Mar & B-Jaya Bay-Hay-Ra (CS)
  • Tota & Toti
  • Miss IUC & Mr IUC
And the award goes to…Tota-Toti ! Not a big surprise. Is it?!
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Jhoru ka Gulham Award: This award is self-explanatory. This was handed by future Jhoru Ka Gulham Shoe-Case Dash. The nominees are…
  • Satyam-Mahindra & Snay-Haa
  • Rishab Thackeray & Saswat Aayi
  • Now-Shake Rath & White Banerjee
  • Only Vimal & Un-Nasha Chakrabarty
  • Ad-Wait & Shut Up Tripathy
And the Award goes to… Ad-Wait & Shut Up Tripathy! Shoe Case Dash is particularly scared of this lady. He Ran away as soon as he announced the name. We handed over the mic to Ad-Wait to say a few words but Miss Tripathy snatched away the mic and Ad-Wait stood like a good boy throughout her speech(Which by the way consisted only of beeps!).
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Bomb and Dumb Award: Some Bombs of our college are with  Dumbs. This gives all the Dumbs out there some hope that they too can get a Bomb someday! This award celebrates the fact that girls indeed do have bigger hearts than Guys! An Ode to all the Bombs out there! This award was present by one of the hottest cartoon_love_by_xweekendxbombs of CVRCE, CS1 Sony and the biggest Dumb in CVRCE, Crime-master Gogoi (IT). The nominees are…
  • CS2 Sherni & Welcome Patnaik.
  • Inspiration Pallavi & Pacific Priyadarshi
  • Paris-Czech Sahoo & Cuttack Bong
And the award goes to… CS2 Sherni & Welcome Patnaik ! As soon as the couple are invited up the stage, Welcome Patnaik punches down Harry in the face for calling him dumb! Dick wets his pants fear!
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Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani Award: Some couples are so full with ‘Hell May Care! ’ and ‘Happy Go Lucky’ attitude that it  baffles eminent  lovologists like Mr. Asurasish Dash (Who BTW has 6 GFs) . This award was presented by Indian Sourav Car (Marine) who too had baffling love stories in the past.The Nominees are…
  • Confused Bong & Mean-ooo Singh
  • Loser Saha & D.Run-Jeeta
  • Re-test Sahoo & Sing-Dhaa
And the award goes to… Confused Bong & Mean-ooo Singh ! This was a very easy choice! After all how many Boys have the guts to visit Goan Strip Clubs and upload the snaps in Orkut! Its a different story that he was fried/roasted/minced by Mean-ooo. But no other BF could have survived such an act and no other GF would have left him off alive! Cool. Way Too Cool !
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Highest CGPA Difference Award: This award was added to the couple who were together in spite of the hell and heaven difference between their respective CGPAs. This once again strengthens the fact that girls indeed have bigger hearts than Guys! This award was presented by Asurasis Dash(Mech) and Nay-Haa Agarwal (ETC) for obvious reasons! The Nominees are…
  • Foreign Ku. Hembram and Sauce-Mita
  • Kishan and Aal izz Aaa
And the award goes to… Foreign Ku. Hembram and Sauce-Mita! Foreign Ku. Hembram cries in happiness on the stage. Sauce-Mita is embarrassed. She continues to say that they are not a couple.
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Just Friends Award: This award is presented to the couple who are hell-bent on the fact that they are ‘Just-Friends’ in spite of being spotted in restaurants, Parks, Cinemas ,etc. for long.This award was presented by Shit-ish Pradhan and Supermodel Monica. The Nominees are…
  • Foreign Ku. Hembram and Sauce-Mita
  • Arungutan Panigrahi & Queen Radha
  • Bee-Bhoo & Me-Taali
And the award goes to… Bee-Bhoo & Me-Taali !...Upon coming up to the stage Me-Taali gives a taali to Sally. And Beeb-Bhoo maintains that they are still ‘Just Friends’!
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The 377 award: This award is sponsored by Karan Johar for guys exhibiting Bro-mance. This award was awarded to the most bromantic couple of CVRCE. The award was handed over by Dev-Under from Electrical. The Nominees are…
  • Bateesh Patnaik and Ass-Hiss Patnaik (IT)
  • Easy Sanghai & Re-test Sahoo (AEI)
  • Anand Kanungo & World-Candle Bose
  • Safed Vardi Wale Goonde
  • Altaf Raza Bankiya and 40 Year old Virgin
And the award goes toSafed Vardi Wale Goonde..! They come up the stage with tears of happiness gleaming over their faces. They start hugging and doing Bro-Mantic stuff on the stage. Agar Ladkon mein itna pyaar jhai to lAdkiyaan kise chahiye!
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BEST COUPLE: The Best couple Award was the biggest award of the evening. It was an unanimous decision taken by all the 13 Khabris. The Best Couple of 2010 Batch Goes to…
Small 92.7 FM & Bhaloo Guitarist !
jagdeep1984__big-dog-small[1] 
CONGRATS!!! The couple were asked to say a few words. Bhaloo Guitarist said some stuff none could understand. The Small 92.7 FM took over and said and said and said for 2 long hours. All audience and Khabris slept during her long speech. Finally all of us got respite when the Kodak Theatre wale cut of the electrical supply to the event. Phew.
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Thus came an end to a great evening. The Awards ceremony was a grand success in spite of the few hitches when the K-Section guys had a White Water Party backstage led by Sun Farmer Dash and Kukurmar Mallik. Some B-Section guys and Girls were also involved in a water-pouch throwing war which messed up the Kodak theatre. We also faced heavy criticism for forgetting to invite the people of Chem Branch. We actually forgot that they exist!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

How to Scare/Piss Off Your Roomie [Mental Baba]

Disclaimer: This Mental Baba post is only meant for LH students only. If Boys’ mess students attempt to follow the following tips and tricks CVRCE Diary doesn’t guarantee the results.
Mental Baba Are you sick of your roomie? Do you want to change your roomie but can’t find a good enough reason for that? Is your roomie’s BF hotter than yours and you are sick of it? Does your roomie hog up the internet usage every month?  Does your roomie sped two hours in the bathroom every morning? Is your roomie placed and you are not and she is showing off? Is your roommate the primary reason why you think your engineering life sucks? Well don’t worry ladies. Mental Baba is here to adhere to all your sorrows! Mental Baba will tell how to piss off and punish your roomie. He will tell you ways to freak out and scare your roomie. He will give you fool proof ways to give that return punch and make life hell for your roommate for ever.
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  1. In the middle of the night… let your hair down, wear something loose and white... Stand staring at your sleeping roomie constantly with your head tilted, eyes wide and an evil smile… Do this every night. Results guaranteed in one week. 

  2. Buy their exact wardrobe and wear the same clothes they do every day. Start commenting on how much you have in common, and how you must be twins separated at birth.
  3. Read books on occult, witchcraft, etc. ...Prepare a voodoo doll of your roomie...Once when she is half asleep try to get a piece of her cloth/hair.
  4. Constantly sharpen a big butcher's knife every day with a stone. Periodically look at your roommate and give her an evil smile...slowly mutter 'Soon. Soon !’
  5. Ask them daily about their cleaning habits. Always act like it isn't enough. Bring home disinfectants and clean everything they touch 5 seconds after they've touched it. Behave as though they are crawling with nasty germs and ask "You haven't touched this have you?" before you touch anything.
  6. Give her romantic gifts, roses, cards, etc...If that doesn’t scare her then PROPOSE HER.
  7. Hide a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
  8. Throw a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that she reimburse you.
  9. Watch movies like Cannibal Holocaust, Saw series, Hostel series etc. and laugh hysterically during Gore Scenes. And beech beech mein mutter to yourself (but loud enough for her to hear) "Hey...Dat was cool..I can try dat!".
  10. Keep a pet frog. One day smash it with your roomie's heaviest book. Then cry and cry and cry and blame your roomie for Froggie's murder. Swear that you will take the revenge Ghajini Style.
  11. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
  12. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.
  13. Buy a bottle of red ink. Smear it around your mouth and eat sandwich. When she sees you eating, quickly hide the sandwich. Let her think that u r eating some living creature.
  14. Use the bottle of red ink to smear your hands red. Every night come running to yr room and wash your hands frantically as if it was blood. When your roomie enquires about it just answer "I didn’t do it. It was just an accident."
  15. Bring a chessboard and play chess with your imaginary friend in front of your roomie and after the match shake hands with your friend {in air}... Works better if you shout expletives at your imaginary friend when you lose!
  16. Start listening to insane forms of music like classical Chinese music or African heavy metal at high volumes.
  17. Paste posters of Bal Thackeray, Rahul Mahajan, Rahi Sawant, Her Mom, KRK, etc posters in your room.
  18. Finally the killer punch. Set the photo of your roomie's Boyfriend as your lappy's wallpaper.

‘Dimaag Ki Dahi !’ with Unknown Vedant Guy…

Hi Peeps! It’s been a long time. We can give you many reasons for our absence. Tom and Harry were in Pandora searching for that USB driven horse. Dick and Larry were busy in buying players in IPL auction (Now every1 knows why Pakis were not selected!). Whatever!

Vedant had been kind enough to recruit from CVRCE. I think they don’t follow the newspapers and all those images of strikes in CVRCE. Now coming back to the topic Vedant chose 16 people to join its 'Diamond Factory'(as claimed by UVG) in KBK district. Because CVRCE students so good in killing mosquitoes and drinking beer. One of them is our very own Unknown Vedant Guy (UVG). I mean he has literally added the name 'Vedant' between his previous name and surname. He made it public in Orkut n now he registered in 8th sem in that name too. Some people bow their heads b4 the kali temple of Bermunda but this guy does it at the Vedant office in Bermunda. This guy has both a low profile and a low heart. (He has told us not to reveal his identity or his branch or his waist size).This guy is the perfect bakraa to be axed here in Dimaag Ki Dahi.

Disclaimer: This is a real interview conducted over Google Wave. No answers have been modified. As our interviewee was as brave as a mouse, he forced us not to mention even his fake name or his branch. Anyway, we would refer to him as UVG(Unknown Vedant Guy). Anyway our readers are encouraged to guess the real identity of UVG! The first two correct guessers will get a Google Wave invite. YaY!

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  • CVRCE Diary: A penny for your thoughts on CVRCE Diary...

Unknown Vedant Guy: It’s really funny, humorous. The guptachars are really doing a great job and not to forget the editors who add all those masala and give us “Laughter k Phatke”. Let’s not forget if 3 Idiots earned 100 crores in 4 days then this blog also earned 300+ members in just 2 days which proves its popularity! *Hmm…Seems that UVG is planning to butter us hard enough so that we don’t reveal his identity! *

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  • CD: Which is the coolest branch of CVRCE and why? 

UVG: Well, according to me there are 3 contenders for this; Electrical, Computer Science and Mechies (in no particular order) coz they are cool n they have sufficient reason to prove it in their own way. *All Khabris Yawn hard during this diplomatic answer. Seems that UVG is hell-bent on protecting his branch's identity.  Identity Clue 1: he’s not from AEI*

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  • CD: Is the blog too blunt and is too insensitive to some people’s feelings? Should the theme be toned down a bit?

UVG: As my other counterparts of this section already said people should take it healthily and sportily, n why dis fuss. Even I myself am also one of the targets. Moreover it’s a good thing which u have adopted now, not attacking anyone personally. Coz it’s like our collegial blog n it may hamper anyone’s emotion. So, no more complaints! *Little does UVG know that this sudden break from personal attacks is a temporary one? Actually students don’t take anyone F**kin with their emotions during bad times (Exams and Placement). We’ll be back with more Personal Attacks soon! *

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  • CD: Any suggestions for the improvement of the blog? 

UVG: The new look is really great, adding bit of ….. Factor to it and the recent blog for the noble cause has definitely shut the mouth of those people who used to say that you all don’t care about other’s emotions. That’s really a very good job. No suggestions. Just that you bloggers don’t make such mistakes of getting caught. Be under cover. It’s good that people still haven’t got to know about you all. Great escape till now. *Thanku Thanku.*

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  • CD: How many questions did you know before appearing the written for Vedant? 

UVG: Yeah, I knew a few questions about 9-10 questions (thanks 2 Freshersworld),and I think a lot many other people also knew. But it was lesser than what TCSites knew for their campus. At least we didn’t take chits. *One of of Senior Khabri who is already placed in TCS gives a scorn*

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  • CD: Reports state that you have pasted Placement Dutta's Poster in your room. Is that true?  

UVG: Oh, c’mon not at all. Although, I must say he’s very good at his job. He’s able to console students very well; Chahey Campus aye ya na aye! *All the bloggers kick his arse for praising Placement Dutta due to heavy public demand.

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  • CD: Please tell us about the change of your perception towards Placement Dutta after cracking Vedant. Is it true that you worship the mentioned poster of Placement Dutta every morning? 

UVG: No, change in perception. It’s the same as was before. Since, I hardly had any personal talks with him, neither before nor after the campus. But, he’s far better than his other counterparts of T&P cell. Though I respect him, but I don’t worship him! *Al Khabris agree. At least Placement Dutta has taken few spoken English classes which his counterpart Placement Rout has bunked! But Lie Count1: His perception has changed!*

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  • CD: What is your take on the upcoming Vedant University? Do you aspire to become a lab assistant there? 

UVG:  I’m totally in for of the World class university, if they really have noble intensions. Coz we’d seen their plans and if they really work according to it, then we people of Odisha will have a great reason to be proud of and people need not go abroad (country or other states) to pursue higher education. But d way it is going, I fear if our children would also get a chance to have a glimpse of it forget about my being a lab assistant! *Identity Clue 2: UVG is an Odia! Seems that Vedant is feeding these 16 well enough to shower praises. *

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  • CD: How will you survive without CCD, Pizza Hut, Multiplexes and Shopping Arcades in Jharsuguda? 

UVG: Thinking of this brings me nightmares! I’ll suggest Vedant to build all these, building so called Airport or University. We’ve to find other sources of entertainment (some of which can’t be specified). *Naughty Boy!*

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  • CD: FTV or Sanskar TV? Justify.

UVG: Neither FTV nor Sanskar as both of them have nude content. Watch Bindass-TV. It has shows like “Emotional Atyachaar” and” Big-Switch” and few others which shows those things which hardly any other channel shows. * Lie Count: 2…Larry has inside information that UVG knows all Victoria's Secret models' names by heart! *

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  • CD: Where did u find those mark sheets which showed that you are a 7 pointer?  

UVG: Hell no! I am a 7 pointer (By, God’s and friend’s’ grace). * Lie Count: 3… In fact Dick saw him at Printronics. UVG was wearing black sun glasses and a big overcoat. Full Conspiracy. Larry suggests that he must be good in OFFICE 2010 ! *

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  • CD: People say that your selection was racially motivated. What are your views on that? 

UVG: Who said that? *All Khabris LOL !*

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  • CD: How to start an induction motor? No copying answers frm the 3 Idiots!

UVG:  Mmmm U’ve left me no answers. Please ask a 9 pointer... Mera EM mein Back tha and I’m still struggling to clear it… *Larry asks “How u got through vedant with a back? ”. All Khabris shout” Shame shame!You must have paid a lot of moolah! ”*

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  • CD: Final Question. At what age did you stop wetting your bed? 

UVG: What kinna question is that!. I was told, there would be no personal questions…. Well, I stopped pissing in bed before joining Nursery…. I was (also am) a good boy!! *Lie Count: 5…His Roommate saw him washing his bed sheet almost every early morning. *

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