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Friday, October 8, 2010

Fall of the DevDas and Rise of the DudeDas. [Dude Week Day 5]

Babuji ne kahaa gaon chhod do,
sabne kahaa paro ko chhod do,
paro ne kahaa sharaab chhod do,
aaj tumne kah dia, haweli chhod do,
ek din aayega jab wo kahenge, duniya hi chhod do"

What type of a sick frustrated a-hole says these kind of a stuff that too only because of some chick did not marry him. May be only People like Akash Dash can answer it. Devdas still remains the idol of nudes of our country. Remember folks every girl (synonyms: Satan,Devil) wants us the Dudes to become Devdas for her. This is her soul objective. Even they have an undercover competition of "Paro-ness" going among them. Now the table must turn & we should start the tradition of "Devi D" & "DEVIDAS". So from now on let’s bring a revolution & convert all "DEVDAS" to "DUDE DAS".  Ladkibaaz Larry along with Mental Baba will suggest you ways to how to stop becoming miserable after breakups and start becoming awesome.barney-stinson-awesome-quote-300x300



1.       A Dude is always allowed to or welcome to Drink & indulge in booze fest. But this booze-fest is not to be confused with 'Devdas'ish booze fests. It should be more like Siddharth Mallya Booze-Fests.

2.       Update your Facebook Status to "Phew! Finally De-Bitchified!" and make all your friends like it. Make all yor friends comment as “Happy Independence Day”.

3.       Try your best to bag a hotter chick than her and upload cosy snaps with her in your FB account.

4.       Don’t return, burn or flush her gifts. Arrange a fake-auction of her gifts in front of her house or in her college & ask your friends to make fake-bids.

5.       Join CVRCE Diary. This is the only reason why Harry joined the blog.

6.       Practice shooting & get yourself a shotgun or try & fencing. You must post these things on your status update. That has to freak her out.

7.       No Chick remains a friend after break-up so forget friendship & indulge in war.
Strike through her signature from attendance shit OR tape the place where see puts her signature. So that she can’t sign anymore. Report abuse. 

8.       Get a Restraining Order (She will be jailed if she comes within 20 metres of you) against her from the local court. It costs only 300 bucks and you can get it easily too. Publish a copy of the same in the local newspaper. Then hang around her favourite hang outs, coffee shops, Khatti Places. Whenever she comes to that place, Take out a measuring tape and a Cell phone from your pocket!

9.       You shall under no circumstance watch movies like "Devdas","A Walk To Remember","Qayamat se Qayamat Tak" & also "500 days of summer" if you don’t get the word sarcasm. The suggested movies to watch post break-up. Kill Bill. High Fidelity. Saw. Bachna Ae Haseeno(first half only).

10.    Throw a Break-Up party with lots of booze & hot chicks. Money will not be a problem as the money-sucker is away. Upload the pics in your FB account.

11.    Crying in front of her roomies is so lame. Flirt with her & ask her out. Take her to a better restaurant than you took your ex to. Dont mention a single word about your ex if reffered tell "Who is She?" or "That name stinks" or "You live with that thing!"

12.    Do whatever but don't pee at her gate. You may however upload her pic in a matrimonial site along with her contact details.

13.    Publish her Obituary in all leading newspapers.

14.    Make posters of "To-Let" with her number,print multiple copies and paste on the walls in crowded places.  PS: You may replace "To-Let" with more creative and effective words. ;) You know what we are talking about! 

15.    Text  "I Love You. Kissie. Huggie. Muaaahhh.(Censored)" message to her Mom/Dad's cell. Wait for 5 minutes and text "Sorry Aunty, That message wasn't meant for you. Please forward it to your daughter. Hope you have SMS pack."

16.    Send her a highly detailed bill of all the dinners, lunches, gifts, kisses, roses, etc. Tell that you will take legal action if she doesn't pay up.

17.    Place a singles ad with your her phone number in newspapers and websites.