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Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Dude Veda: Releasing Tonight on The International Dude Day

Finally we are just One Day away from the "LEGEN…wait for it…DARY" D-Day or Dude Day. If the Chicks can have a 'Women’s Day’ then why cant we have a Dude’s day ! The 10/10/10. Yesterday has been special, all thanks to "Akash Dash".  This “Real Guy” (That’s what he calls himself) had tried to light a fire within Core & Non-Core branch students this morning. The Diary is deeply pissed & wants people like this to be evicted for trying to make unprecedented & baseless remarks. I know these things are not funny but you may get a few laughs when you read the comments made by so called “Akash Dash”. So let’s screw these people & let’s continue with our Dude-tainment. Like all Potential Bestsellers we too released "Dude Veda" first in the Critics’ Circuit before bringing it down here. So here are a few exclusive reviews of the sacred "Dude Veda".

 

·         “The Literature-Nobel and Man Booker Prize are passé. We should give a Larry Prize for literary recognition.” - Alfred Nobel

·         “Finally, A book worth reading.” - God 

·         "Out of this world."- Alien (A Dude from another Planet). 

·         "Makes me feel alive again."- Michael Jackson

·         "The only thing i can’t rip off."- Some Indian author.

·         “I'm so proud of you Larry.” - Barney Stinson

·         “I won't write anymore. Now I have realised that all I write is crap as compared to Mr. Larry.” - Chetan Bhagat 

·         Woof! Bhow-wow. Growl. Woof Woof ! - Scooby Doo 

·         "All my life i have written trash, this is the real deal."- J.K. Rowling 

·         “I hope Larry had written my story instead of Rowling Aunty” – Harry Potter

·         “The text of Dudish Redemption" - Pope Benedict the XVI

·         “Al-Habibi, Al-Khalija ilahi bin Khartoum al Dude” – Osama bin Laden

·         “Gangtok Rocks ! CVRCE Diary Sucks.” - Akash Dash 

·         “My true successor. Larry is a real Dude"- Vijay Mallya 

·         “Uff...Not Fair. L” - Sneha Agarwal 

·         “This is Sick.” – Secret Agent Sally (An Evil Chick)

·         “The Dude Veda changed my life. It turned me from DevDas to DudeDas. ”<Shows the Middle Finger to Paro> - A Transformed DudeDas.

·         "Humey Larry de do, Hum Kashmir bhool jayenge." - Mussaraff 

·         “The most touching book I have ever read. Larry manages to explore the deepest psyche of the Dude Emotions and pull the toughest of heart-strings. I cried when the book was over”. - Mike Tyson

·         “You know. This book...you know....is soooo...you know...disgusting.” - Karan Johar (A Chick in the body of a Dude)

·         “I wish The Dude Veda was released earlier. Else I wouldn’t have spent all my four years of engineering life with Boylested. ” – Gurbinder (ETC Smartass)

 

So, Log on to CVRCE Diary Tonight at 9 PM for the Release of THE DUDE VEDA !

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fall of the DevDas and Rise of the DudeDas. [Dude Week Day 5]

Babuji ne kahaa gaon chhod do,
sabne kahaa paro ko chhod do,
paro ne kahaa sharaab chhod do,
aaj tumne kah dia, haweli chhod do,
ek din aayega jab wo kahenge, duniya hi chhod do"


What type of a sick frustrated a-hole says these kind of a stuff that too only because of some chick did not marry him. May be only People like Akash Dash can answer it. Devdas still remains the idol of nudes of our country. Remember folks every girl (synonyms: Satan,Devil) wants us the Dudes to become Devdas for her. This is her soul objective. Even they have an undercover competition of "Paro-ness" going among them. Now the table must turn & we should start the tradition of "Devi D" & "DEVIDAS". So from now on let’s bring a revolution & convert all "DEVDAS" to "DUDE DAS".  Ladkibaaz Larry along with Mental Baba will suggest you ways to how to stop becoming miserable after breakups and start becoming awesome.barney-stinson-awesome-quote-300x300

 

 

1.       A Dude is always allowed to or welcome to Drink & indulge in booze fest. But this booze-fest is not to be confused with 'Devdas'ish booze fests. It should be more like Siddharth Mallya Booze-Fests.

2.       Update your Facebook Status to "Phew! Finally De-Bitchified!" and make all your friends like it. Make all yor friends comment as “Happy Independence Day”.

3.       Try your best to bag a hotter chick than her and upload cosy snaps with her in your FB account.

4.       Don’t return, burn or flush her gifts. Arrange a fake-auction of her gifts in front of her house or in her college & ask your friends to make fake-bids.

5.       Join CVRCE Diary. This is the only reason why Harry joined the blog.

6.       Practice shooting & get yourself a shotgun or try & fencing. You must post these things on your status update. That has to freak her out.

7.       No Chick remains a friend after break-up so forget friendship & indulge in war.
Strike through her signature from attendance shit OR tape the place where see puts her signature. So that she can’t sign anymore. Report abuse. 

8.       Get a Restraining Order (She will be jailed if she comes within 20 metres of you) against her from the local court. It costs only 300 bucks and you can get it easily too. Publish a copy of the same in the local newspaper. Then hang around her favourite hang outs, coffee shops, Khatti Places. Whenever she comes to that place, Take out a measuring tape and a Cell phone from your pocket!

9.       You shall under no circumstance watch movies like "Devdas","A Walk To Remember","Qayamat se Qayamat Tak" & also "500 days of summer" if you don’t get the word sarcasm. The suggested movies to watch post break-up. Kill Bill. High Fidelity. Saw. Bachna Ae Haseeno(first half only).

10.    Throw a Break-Up party with lots of booze & hot chicks. Money will not be a problem as the money-sucker is away. Upload the pics in your FB account.

11.    Crying in front of her roomies is so lame. Flirt with her & ask her out. Take her to a better restaurant than you took your ex to. Dont mention a single word about your ex if reffered tell "Who is She?" or "That name stinks" or "You live with that thing!"

12.    Do whatever but don't pee at her gate. You may however upload her pic in a matrimonial site along with her contact details.

13.    Publish her Obituary in all leading newspapers.

14.    Make posters of "To-Let" with her number,print multiple copies and paste on the walls in crowded places.  PS: You may replace "To-Let" with more creative and effective words. ;) You know what we are talking about! 

15.    Text  "I Love You. Kissie. Huggie. Muaaahhh.(Censored)" message to her Mom/Dad's cell. Wait for 5 minutes and text "Sorry Aunty, That message wasn't meant for you. Please forward it to your daughter. Hope you have SMS pack."

16.    Send her a highly detailed bill of all the dinners, lunches, gifts, kisses, roses, etc. Tell that you will take legal action if she doesn't pay up.

17.    Place a singles ad with your her phone number in newspapers and websites.

 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Dude Week Day 4 : Mental baba Meets Barney Stinson

Well folks this is not a suggestion box thread like Agony Aunty or Ask Preeto. This is Mental Baba. This is strictly based on the "Dude Veda" the authentic & original way for Dudes to trap girls. Though we know girls are evil but it is historically proven that man by his virtue has always flirted with the evil. So how much they suck we still need chicks to rock our world. But remember one thing Dudes never choose a chick. Coz they all are same ,but it is highly appreciable if a Dude can crack the uncrackables (as believed by Nudes). For Dudes no girl lives in this world who is both hot & uncrackable. This post will act as a small preview of what to expect from “The Dude Veda” Let the Dude prevail. Amen. himym_barney_brit

 

  • Always pretend as if you don't know that chick's roommate. Always refer her roommate as "That Fashion Disaster" or Kangna Ranaut or You May say that chick who lives with you looks a bit older. Do it for the first few days. Then Follow the next step.
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  • Hit on her Best Friend, Her Roomie, Her Lab Partner. Strategically ignore her. Nothing attracts her more But stay within limits. Other the plan will backfire and she would help her friend to bring both of you together.
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  • If you are having difficulty to talk to her then follow this step. Bang her Scooty once with your 150 cc bike. Bang it hard so that she will get big injuries and their you got a chance to get into her heart.Give her Scooty to a low priced garage,pay for bandages,antiseptic,cotton,lollypops and their you got your girl with just spending few bucks.Money matters Dude,money matters sometimes.{Do this in some crowded places like Big Bazaar,Market building so that unknown crowd will praise your bravery.Don't do this in front of LH.Other girls will start comparing your biking skill with that of their boyfriends}
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  • If you’re the adventurous kind,buy her something intimate.And by intimate,we don’t mean a tiny little teddy bear holding an I-Love-You signboard. Be a Dude.Time to buy her some Russian Vodka. Believe us, Sally once reported about a booze-fest at the room opposite of hers in the LH.
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  • At theatre never look at her.Look at the screen straight and share your laugh and jokes with her friend sitting at your other side.Share popcorn with her.Bring her coffee with extra cream. And give light coffee to your chick and tell her that you care for her health.Carbs will fuck cholesterol .Talk nonsense. Chicks really love those things which their brain cant easily understand. But it may backfire if she asks the game over question. “Do I look fat?”
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  • The Golden rule of trapping chick is the harder to crack the more fun it is.
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  • There’s something cute about pulling a girls cheek, that readily makes her blush like a little tomato.Pulling a girl's cheek has a 99 per cent chance of making her blush. However, this ratio decreases severely if you follow it up by saying the words “You look Cute ! ”. That translates into “Wow, you’ve put on weight, fatty” in Chick Language. Now Dudish doesn't mean to act dumb.
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  • In a restaurant pay the waiter more than 300 bucks as tips,ask about his children,give him extra 100 bucks so that he could feed his children and pay their tuition fees{give fake smiles}.Chicks will return smile which shows that she's impressed by your broad heart.But wait big NO. She's just impressed by the way you spend your bucks{if 500 bucks can be spent on waiter and 1000 can be on her}.There comes your turn to cross backfire.Take the bucks from the waiter when you will leave.{Do it backside}
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  • If the girl hates when you don't call her as you said you will then promise her that you will call, then tell her a particular time in a day you will call. This will ensure that she waits for your call. Also promise her that you are going to say something special when you call. Then don't call her at all. Let her wait, time is gold when it comes to chick.
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  • Contrary to popular opinion, chicks become happy even if you don’t compliment them. All you have to do is compliment their boyfriends.Tell her how lucky she is to have such a gentlemanly boyfriend. But don’t over do it, otherwise she’ll get jealous of you. *Sigh* Yeah,Chicks are weird like that and Dudes know how to maintain their overacting levels.
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  • Save your friends from accidents frequently in front of her.Push them secretly to the middle of the road and drag them back when a car arrives.Do it very bravely in front of her.This will make you a real life superhero.Even Peter Parker was able to crack the hottest chick of his school.
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  • Nudes (None Dudes. Guys with No Dudish Qualities) believe that giving special attention to a chick is gonna help them get the chick. But Dudes just have faith in the contrary. The more you ignore her the more worried she becomes about you. True story. Ignoring also means no commenting on her status too. But you may "poke back" her. Never put her proxies.
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  • Use applications like "What your friend said about you" and answer questions about her frequently.This will keep her busy searching the answers but that's bad news for them that that applications needs to have answers of 100 questions first to get one answer about you.You can see that chicks desperation in other people walls :)
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  • A Dude never flirts online with unknown girls. This area is where the Nudes are kings.
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  • On Mondays when she calls don't receive it at first & tell her i have been to mandir. On Sundays when tell her you are teaching poor orphans for free. During booze-nights with other Dudes tell her that parents are not in town so you need to cook your own food so cant chat with her that night.
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  • Do whatever to impress or trap her but never tell her that you are writing CVRCE DIARY. Tom has tested & proved it several times. He has received the highest number of Report Abuse clicks in CVRCE History for that very reason. Chicks hate CVRCE Diary Khabris.
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  • Do show some fake concerns about her puppy's health & also ask her to mail you her Puppie’s Photos.
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  • Chokeslam your roomie when she arrives in your room and just give her a casual smile when she just sees you doing this
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  • Add pictures of you with babies, cats and puppies in your Facebook and Orkut accounts. It will assure you huge number of 'likes' and comments from chicks.
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  • Create and rehearse an "Epic Tragic Romantic Backstory" of yours. Say how you had a girlfriend and how she left you stranded. How you were stranded and how you vowed that you will never enter another relationship. It works. It seems like a challenge to her.
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  • Always praise Paulo Coelho & Erich Segal in front of her. You can fake it by hitting the like button under all her status updates. Also act like you like The Twilight movies.
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  • Send her free cows in Farmville.Every time she logs on her page she must see an unhappy cow or duckling or donkey for her farm.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Dude-Icon Nominations International Dude Week Day 3)

On Day 3 of the International Dude Week we will celebrate the contribution of the Unsung Dude-Heroes of CVRCE. After hours of infighting and arguments within the CVCRE Diary Khabri Team we will shortlist 8 Dudes. One from each branch of CVRCE to battle it out in a public poll to become the DUDE ICON of CVRCE. The name of the Winner of the poll will be published in “The Dude Veda” which will be released This Sunday. So the branch wise nominations are as follows alphabetically.

 

 

 

 

 

APPLIED ELECTRONICS AND INSTRUMENTATION

    AEI is the branch which has the most favourable sex-ratio in CVRCE. So naturally one will expect that the high Chick population in AEI would put adverse effect on the Dudism in the branch. But Surprisingly AEI has quite a few Dudes.
    WORLD-WIN KHUNTIA- One of the most ultra talented Dudes to have taken birth. He can sell or buy anything to anyone from anyone. The only Dude is CVRCE history to beat the crap out of a guy named Ballu in front of the teacher & whole class. The guy may not attend a single class or internal but provides his full support in all branch fresher's & strikes. This Dude has been leading the crusade from his childhood he is been cutting & burning evil chick's hair sitting behind them. He has successfully flirted with a male teacher of CVRCE using a girl's fake ID.
    Other Nominees who narrowly missed out.
    Easy Shanghari- Known for his fearless and outright usage of Dudish Language (Read Slangs). Normally Dudes only dance at bars but this Dude also works as a DJ.
    TechM Sahoo - Known for his fearless Booze fests in Picnics even in the presence of large number of Vicious and Ruthless AEI Chicks.
    Swayam Siddhant- For having contacts with the wives of quite a large number of Indian Rock stars. He exchanges messages and Calls with them under the pretext of bringing them shows.

CHEMICAL ENGINEERING

    As we have mentioned lots of times earlier, Chemical Engineering is the Unknown Branch of CVRCE. Even we came to know of their existence in 3rd year only. As we do not have a Chemical Khabri, we had a bit difficulty in finding Nominations.So here is our uncontested Nomination.
    AURO a.k.a. KALU - Almost all of you never have heard his name. But you must have seen the Black Guy, Riding a Black Pulsar, Wearing Black Clothes, having Black Pen, Black Everything but a superbly stunning White girlfriend. Now that's what we call as a real Dude. He also has suffered half a dozen road accidents as a result of which he had almost one kilo of Titanium Implants in his Body that makes him even more awesome than Wolverine!

COMPUTER SCIENCE

    CSE despite being one of the most populated branches in CVRCE has a surprisingly low number of Real Dudes. This can be blamed on the uber-dominating nature of Vicious and Ruthless Chicks like CS1 Sherni, CS2 Sherni,etc who call all shots for CSE. But a few Dudes can also be found in CSE.
    SHOE-CASE DASH - He is the world famous Bulldozer, known for breaking countless houses (Relationships). He is a very cunning Dude. He has countless Chicks in his hands and yet never had a serious Committed Relationship till now. Real Dude. He also gives a hand to backpaper guys during the back paper exams. If this much is not enough for nominating him form CS Branch for the Dude Awards, go and have a look at his email Id. it reads sukesh_dude@yahoo.co.in
    Others who narrowly missed the nomination…
    Show-Mess Large-Leaf - For single handedly fighting off 5 Bihari Bhailogs who were chasing Shoe-case to beat the Crap outta him. Sadly, Shoe-case Dash betrayed Show-Mace and did not help him mend off the attackers. As a result of which Shoe-Mace had to take quite some painkillers.
    TaPuss Mishra- For beating the crap outta World-Win Khuntia in 1st year coz he took an extra egg from the hostel mess. Still he is the uncrowned king of Orkut updates along with his primate mate Gorilla Ghosh.


ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING

      These guys have the best Dude to Guy Ratio. Even if they have just 60 students, they still have a sizeable amount of Real Dudes. Though the Infighting In Electrical is very messy, still they Dudism inside this branch is quite commendable.
      DHOTI-SHAKER PADHY- This Dude is one of most well known creature of CVRCE sanctuary everyone starting from the security guards to the gardeners(every gardener is a B.Tech pass out in CVRCE) to the Autowala's know Mr Padhy by his surname. This Dude is famous for its joints at the backside of CVRCE. This guy is a complete storyteller. And all are TRUE Stories. For his sheer depth in Odiya literature & his accent this Dude is appointed as the chief Odia accent consultant to Naveen Patnaik.
      Other notable mentions.
      Nanda Prusty- I know you people are probably shocked to find his name here.But he is the only guy in CVRCE history to have involved in slap-bets. He has given his legendary best shot to some of his branch mate & has received the best shot of Bhuttiya Kutta. This Dude may ride an Activa but still has the guts to read "B" grade novels in Mathematical Ghazni's class in 1st year itself.
      Ray-RB- This Dude met Placement Dutta at a bar and still able to deny it in college the next day.
      Knee-30 -This Dude is famous for his one call PCR powers.



ELECTRONICS and TELECOMMUNICATIONS

And honestly this branch sucks in Dude density.120 plus students 1 Dude{who was actually discovered very lately}.During 3rd year we noted some smoke and sparks rising above ETC building that was coz of the rage of RED-TENDU SUPER-LEAF This guy came from nowhere and suddenly stood before Law-Go ,F**ked with his principles,his so called fame,openly charged him of corruption,bribery and even eye witness say that Mr. Law-Go was so much pissed off by his Dudism that he decided to leave the college.Well that's very very Dudish act.His involved in back paper cheat supplies along with shoe case dash and sources say that he has a record in head banging incidents.He was the captain of the CVRCE last year cricket team.And he is the only Dude of ETC branch. So he's a LED{Lateral Entry Dude}

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY


The IT Sena are CVRCE Diary's biggest nemesis. If CVRCE Diary is Australia, then IT Sena is VVS Laxman. But Even though IT look like a strong Dude group as a whole, surprisingly when It comes to Individual Dudism, we found it real hard to nominate a Super Dude from IT.
KUKURMAR MALLIK- Though he is an underdog in comparison to the rest of the nominees from other branches, he still has a lot of Dudism in him like Breaking Back-Brush's Pulsar in the Big Strike, helping out almost 25 % of the 8th sem students with pirated projects irrespective of Branch.This Dude attended a whole semester wearing sunglasses inside the glass giving fake eye-operations excuses.


MARINE ENGINEERING

Well what to say about these guys,these guys are bunch of dudes.Whatever they do they do in group.Otherwise known as Safed Wardi Waale Gunde these guys are seen doing Dudish activities in mass like strikes,bashing juniors and teachers,smoking,drinking etc.Even they did social works,that too in a very Dudish way.They saved lot of students study time by doing pending ED assignments for them before the night of semesters in exchange of few bucks.Even after toping the Back Chartbusters they never blamed on other students for whom their time was wasted.They are seen taking group photo sessions on the CVRCE sky scrapers deadly edges{which makes them pole apart from IT guys who did photo session in lawns and parks}And thats very Dudish.So no one particular,all the Mariners are dudes{well our research sorted one odd man out i.e Indian Cart who was the only Mariner who was dumped by numerous chicks and still is heartbroken}.



MECHANICAL ENGINEERING

As expected Mechanical branch had the largest number of Dudes competing for the Nomination from Mechanical Branch. We had a very tough time choosing one of them for the official entry from Mechanical.But the Final Nomination is...
Moon Shaker Deo - Probably none of you have ever heard of him. But this guy is the silent superhero in the Backpaper community. This Dude is comes out of the shadows, Kicks ass with his uber-innovative copying techniques,leaks papers from outside colleges (Confidential) and helps hundreds of backpaper students irrespective of their branch and year. We are going to elaborate about the fool proof Backpaper Clearing Mechanism of CVRCE in a later post someday. But as of now know that this Dude is responsible for Dozens of students getting their Engineering Degrees. But just after the exams he again mysteriously disappears to return after 6 months. Where he goes. What he does. No one knows.
Other Nominations
Eiffel Tower- Because he gave THAT LEGENDARY PUNCH to Mr Law-Go from ETC during the big strike in 3rd year. The legendary feat which has been written in the annals of CVRCE for ages to come.
Dancer Khan- For his amazing quality of taking Xerox Copies of entire books, reading it inside the exam hall during the exams, understanding concept, deriving formulae and then answering the papers.
Freedom Acharya- For his amazing contribution to Odia Slangs vocabulary.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

International Dude Week (Day 2) : Interview with the Author of "The Dude Veda"

Welcome to Day 2 of The International Dude Week. Today we will have an exclusive interview with Senior Khabri Ladkibaaz Larry Stinson who is the author of the much awaited "The Dude Veda". The Dude Veda is said to be an ultimate source of salvation for all guys of CVRCE and around for ending all the atrocities committed against them by the Chicks. Seems that the Chick Godesses became too tensed and concerned about this uprising of the Dudes. So she tried her best to stop this moment by creating a Thunderstorm in Bhubaneswar. That Didn't Work. Power Cut. We had Inverters. Net Disconnection. We went to the cyber Cafes to post this. This time the Dudes wont accept Defeat. Dick & Harry decided to call Larry for an interview after the huge response the trailer got. As usual they asked Tom to call who changes his SIM every second day(SIM changing rate of Tom is second only to Bin Laden). So they used the unknown Tom's number to call Larry . Larry after the huge success of the trailer went all the way to Cuttack to get some booze & celebrate alone as all the others Khabris were out of town. Larry at 9:30 filled with hangover recieved the call the caller tune rang "Humko peeni hai peeni hai humko peeni hai".
Dick- Hi Larry, Dick here.
Larry-What?! "Dick is here", very calm & safe.
Dick-WTF! I am Dick you scumbag.
Larry-What type of man calls him a "Dick"?
Dick - This is Senior Khabri Dahara Dick calling you for your interview on the Dude Veda
(After hearing the word "Dude" a big thunder struck & Larry almost pissed in his pants & regained his senses)
Here are excerpts of the interview.

Q: Why have you added this extra 'Stinson' surname to your name?
A: What Tendulkar is to cricketers the same is Stinson is to all the Dudes. Recently I had a dream that when I was born there was a "Stinson" locket attached with my name. The first name that I ever uttered is nothing but "Stinson". No monkey language to start with.Later on after my 4th breakup I went on a fact finding mission to know who I am and what is wrong in me? And I came to know that I'm a descendant of the great Stinsons. And Barney Stinson of "How I Met Your Mother" is my long lost Brother.And he is my single biggest inspiration to wite this Dude Veda.


Q: Ok. Tell our readers what to expect from "The Dude Veda"?
A:The Dude Veda is a 200+ page guide catering to the following topics.
    1. Helping Nudes to be converted into Dudes
    2. Creating Unity among the Dudes to fight this tough war for Pride and Honor against the Chicks.
    3. Innovative and foolproof ways to trap Chicks.
    4. Formulating a large set of rules. Otherwise known as the Dude Code Of Conduct which will act as a constitution for all Dudes.
     
    Q:And the concept is you are reforming people. Is it real ? Nude(Not-Dude) to Dude. Are you seriously reforming them? And just a brief description how you will do it.
    A:Well, we the Stinsons are born with only one purpose to kill all Nudity(Not-Dudity,does not include porn at all). For that transition the Nudes must burn all those Love Story Books & Text Books they have there at their place & start reading my "Dude Veda". They may also have to give away the Scooty they are riding & the need to quit drinking blue stuff with a tiny plastic umbrella in it on a long glass. Those who were crossed all the limits of Not-Dudity they will all be converted to chicks to improve the sex-ratio.
     
    Q:So are you planning to be a hermit? Coz it seems like you are preaching a religion? Are you quitting the post of the Senior Khabri in CVRCE Diary?
    A:No. My first mission is to convert all the Khabris into Dudes. Because as of now except me All the Khabris are Nudes. One is running after the Chicks always while the other is using the CVRCE Diary Gmail Account to anonymously flirt with Junior Chicks. This has to end.  
    Q: We saw those awesome stunts you have done in that video. Well are those real? The stunts were so awesome that we had to wear wear helmets even while watching the trailer.   
    A: Yes. Absolutely. All stunts were real. Earlier I was a Nude (Non-Dude). But Barney Stinson taught me all those awesome stunts. He is My Dude-Guru. I even heard that Altaf Raja Bankiya and Shoe-Case Dash have become numb after watching the trailer. For this achievement only I should to be greeted by all Ladies of CVRCE. True Story.
     
    Q: We want to ask u why this weird caller tune? We were expecting some Real 'Dudish' Callback Tune. But WTF is this? Last time it was"Teri Ore". That's so Not Dude.
    A: I am running short of partners for Booze nights so i have set this caller Tune this is an indirect booze night request to all even to the company HR who was impressed after listening this. About "Teri Ore" that is what chicks do while they take your phone to inspect your inbox they secretly change your awesome caller tune to some of thier fav chick-song. Chicks suck. (No Pun Intended)
     
    Q: Lastly any words for our readers?
    A: It's the time to stop being ORDINARY and start becoming LEGENDARY. So log on to CVRCE Diary this Sunday and download  "The Dude Veda", your key to Dudish Salvation.
      

  


Monday, October 4, 2010

The International Dude Week (Day 1)- Intro

    Saturday 8pm. Place -Your Living room.
    You with your dad are all set to watch the much wanted EPL match on ESPN but still your sister & mother have kidnapped the remote & stuck to the weekend special 1hr episode of some in-law fighting daily soap where the lead actress is getting married for the 34th time. Still frustrated you move on to your FB page & look what you found. 29 Farmville cow requests from chicks & 9 "How beautiful are you quiz" updates & 13 "how true is your love today" updates.tumblr_ktz34pofv71qauqwvo1_500
    God created man & Satan produced woman. After millions of years of their domination & cruelty over mankind the chicks have totally conquered the universe. They turned man into she-man & Dudes to Nudes(not dude). They have taken of our clothing & started wearing jeans & trousers & they have made man wear all those pinky t-shirts. They have made dudes to use beauty parlours & instead they are hitting the gym. Remember how many times your girlfriend has made you watch Vivaah, Arya, Twilight. Remember how many times she has faked the act of trying to pay at a restaurant she always tried but never did.
    In fact woman are so bad that there is hardly any difference between good & bad exists. Woman must be used to create great literature & make awesome beer ads & of course those other things like driving Formula 1 Cars,changing bulbs(if they ever can). Now they have got 33% reservations in everywhere in your pocket too. If it was not for the woman's quota our own talented Harry should have got a place at IIT. Come on, why shall we be slaves to those who don't know how to format their computers or how to book a ticket online.After 6 successful break-ups(hi5) & 2 on way I Ladkibaaz Larry has decided that the buck must stop here. The Dudes must rise & take on this jihad,this crusade,this Mahabharata against the evil & their demons known as "The Nudes" (Non-Dudes) and The Chicks.
    So from the blessing of the greatest Dude ever lived & still living St. Barnabas Stinson or The Legend…wait for it…Dary Barney Stinson we at CVRCE DIARY are going to celebrate the dude week on 1st Monday of every October starting from today till the coming Sunday which will is "the official international Dude Day". During this awesome week we are going to have posts spreading awareness on…
    1. How to be a Dude in a world of Nudes?
    2. How to trap chicks in your Jaal?
    3. The anti Devdas Therapy.
    4. Dudes of CVRCE
    5. International Dude awards
    6. Release of the DUDE VEDA
    (One Post Per Day)
    So suit up Dudes…. because chicks can also wear jeans.

    Ladkibaaz Larry Stinson

    Senior Khabri 

    (Author of the Bestseller “The Dude Veda”)